


Everything I've lost on the road

by UngarnMoc



Category: Tomb Raider (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-26 01:38:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16209962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UngarnMoc/pseuds/UngarnMoc
Summary: Lara takes a moment to look back at her past as the "Famous Tomb Raider" and summarizing what it took to be where she is at the moment. Warning: Some minor spoilers from SOTR and some major spoilers from ROTR (in that case if you did not play with it yet.)





	Everything I've lost on the road

**Author's Note:**

> So I am playing with the Shadow of the Tomb Raider and I love it. There are minor spoilers from the new game and some major from the Rise of the Tomb Raider, please mind that. Also felt free to alter the game just a tiny bit. Another note: I don't have a beta reader at all, so I wrote it and then uploaded it, sorry for the mistakes I cannot find - English is not my first language. I still hope you will enjoy this tiny little one shot :3

The jungle was surprisingly calm that night. Silent and calm. It was almost like even the wilderness feared her now. Looking around Lara saw nothing only the darkness and the leaves what were touched by the camp fire’s light. A spare look toward her friend just to be sure: he is there and alive. And yes, everything was fine: Jonah was sound asleep. Thankfully, he could sleep.

Lara, well, she still heard the gunshots ringing in her hear. Will that ever change? She started to give up the hope on that.

Sighed, accepted it was something she needed to get used to, looked down to the clothing in her lap. Jonah didn’t understand why she brought a coat along – they were in Peru, in a jungle after all. But what he did not know the coat wasn’t here because she sought its warmth. Raised a hand and gently ran her fingers through the fabric, the feeling of missing the owner of it suddenly punched her in the gut.

This was her only reminder of Jacob. This and her memories. But the memories only pained her even more so.

Lara didn’t find her place in the world ever since she destroyed the Divine Source and lost Jacob. She knew she didn’t really belong to anywhere before, but when she met with him it felt like… finally finding a home. She was still driven and had her own goals, but also found some peace in Kitezh. For first Lara thought it was because of the simpler lifestyle of the village – it was calmer, quieter and still free, even if they lived in the middle of Siberia and that didn’t really mean holiday at all. They had to survive in the most unforgiving environment ever. And still Lara was able to just wander around and enjoy a moment of peace there. Surviving was in her blood, maybe that’s why she didn’t find the everyday life too challenging in the wilderness.

But it wasn’t the village what calmed her down and made her feel safe. Not the cold beauty of the wilderness either. It was one certain man and she quickly found herself attracted to him.

Jacob and she spent a lot of time together while she was there. Lara loved to hear him talk, the wisdom of his words and the deep, soothing voice of his chased her monsters away. He told her stories about the past and talked with her about _her_ past. He understood her pain and also understood _her,_ the fighter, the survivor, but also a daughter who lost so much, a friend who saw the death of her friends, the wanderer who couldn’t find her place.

Her hand fisted into the coat, closed her eyes, let some tears to escape.

_They had so little time together._

She didn’t mean to fall for a man who was centuries older than her and also immortal. And he didn’t mean to love her back either. But it happened, hit both of them like a train and honestly, Lara didn’t want to resist at all. Why would she, when Jacob meant so much to her? Was it wrong to love him?

For once she didn’t care about her mission or legacy or anything at all; all she was cared about was Jacob in her life and the fragile happiness they had. Because they dared to be happy and love passionately, weren’t minding the world around them and ignoring the problems as long as they could.

Which wasn’t too much.

Of course Lara knew she couldn’t stay even if Jacob would be alive and she knew he didn’t wish to face with the world again – that was him, he belonged to his people and to Kitezh. But Lara didn’t belong there. She didn’t belong anywhere. Well except at Jacob’s side. But she couldn’t stay, she knew that, she still knows that but hates that they never really had a chance to make a decision about it. They could try to make it work somehow. They should have a chance. They should.

A heavy sight broke out from her, fighting with the urge to hug the coat close and try to catch a glimpse of his smell – it wouldn’t be there anymore, she knows. She tried it before, but Jacob’s scent slowly faded away with time just like he did from her life, just like he did at Kitezh, moments after smashing the Divine source into the ground.

Her father, Roth, Jacob…. and then the threat of losing Jonah too. She couldn’t allow that. No more losses. Lara was afraid she would break if one more death happens among the people who are important to her.

Sam couldn’t even look at her after Yamatai – she is too afraid. Ana betrayed her and her father. She still claimed she loved Richard, but that could be another lie of hers. Jonah is everything Lara still had in this world.

Only let a moment for herself to ponder over everything what happened and that minute was over. Opened her eyes, sniffing a bit, wiping away her tears and glancing over Jonah once again. Yes, he meant a lot to her as a friend, but still: Lara didn’t wish to share everything with him. Like the explanation why she insisted on bringing along a warm coat into the jungle and why she was almost hugging it while she cried silently.

She didn’t want to share her memories about Jacob with anyone. They were hers and only hers. The memory of their kisses, touches and nights together, their whispered words in the dark, their wishes. Their almost everything together.

Slowly grabbed her backpack to put back the coat into it. She sought the comfort and peace, but the only person who could give it to her was dead. Still she couldn’t bring herself to get rid of the coat – probably wherever she will go, the coat will tag along, no matter what.

After all that is her only reminder of a man she truly loved. Although… she wasn’t so sure anymore Jacob would love the woman she became in this jungle.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey again :) So that was it, some little angsty story. I couldn't help but have the feeling after surviving that freaking war and seeing the fascinating changes in Lara's personality. Surely she didn't take it easily and well adding my OTP to the story this happened. Also noticed Lara has a remnant jacket - I know, I know it is not Jacob's, but what if it is? XD Also thinking about writing a bit more about this pairing, ever since I am a Lara/Jacob fan since the Rise of the Tomb Raider, but there is almost no stories for them! :O They need more love. So yes, I plan to write some more when Jacob was still alive aaaaand who knows, it would be fun to create an AU when he is still alive and at her side. Let me know what you think and then we will see what happens :D


End file.
